11 Of The MANY Reasons Trump Won

1.“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, beautiful, piece of ass.” (Misogynists everywhere cheered.) 

2.“One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.” (And trumpites didn’t get a clue from this?) 

3.“I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” (Making incestuous pedophiles everywhere proud.)

4.“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.” (Undersized men all around the country think they’re John Holmes now.) 

5.“The point is, you can never be too greedy.” (Another red flag trumpites didn’t pick up on.)

6.“My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.” (Trumpites now think that he has some sort of magical Twitter power.) 

7.“My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.” (Just like his tax returns and his penis size – he has not provided proof.)

8.“Women, you have to treat them like shit” (He has provided proof of this and trumpites didn’t seem to care so this must mean they all think this is a thing.)

9.“I think that putting a wife to work is a very dangerous thing” (All low and middle class trumpites will now think this should be implemented – except they can’t afford to force their wives to stay home. What can go wrong here?)

10.There are 3 types of women:
•The good woman who loves her man, but refuses to sign a prenup – get rid of her
•The calculating woman who refuses to sign the prenup because she’s a gold digger.
•The woman who signs the prenuptial agreement to make some quick money. 
(And trump has spoken…) 

11.And don’t forget trump didn’t say no to conversion therapy. (Think about it. It’s like making a black person turn into a white person, or vice versa. It’s impossible and it’s just plain dumb.)